GUIDE
Everything you need to plan (or request) a baby shower that is actually fun — not awkward.
Timing, themes, games, food, virtual options, and the etiquette questions everyone wonders about but rarely asks.
Be prepared from day one
The ideal window for a baby shower is 28-32 weeks. At this point, the pregnancy is well-established, the parent-to-be is visibly pregnant (which makes the celebration feel real), and there is still enough time after the shower to buy remaining items and set up the nursery.
Schedule earlier if the parent-to-be has a gender reveal planned separately, has a high-risk pregnancy, is expecting multiples, or has travel or scheduling constraints. Avoid scheduling after 36 weeks — at that point, the parent may be too uncomfortable to enjoy a party, and there is a real chance of early labor.
Send invitations 6-8 weeks before the shower. This gives guests enough time to shop from the baby registry and make plans to attend. For virtual showers, 4-6 weeks notice is usually sufficient.
| When | What to Do |
|---|---|
| 8-10 weeks before | Choose a date, confirm the host(s), set a budget, and pick a venue (home, restaurant, park, or virtual) |
| 6-8 weeks before | Send invitations (digital or physical), confirm the registry is set up, and choose a theme if desired |
| 4-6 weeks before | Plan the menu, order a cake or desserts, and organize games or activities |
| 2-3 weeks before | Confirm RSVPs, finalize headcount, order supplies and decorations |
| 1 week before | Prepare food that can be made ahead, confirm any vendor deliveries, and assemble party favors |
| Day of | Set up 2-3 hours before, designate someone to track gifts, and assign someone to take photos |
Traditionally, a close friend, sister, or group of friends hosts the baby shower. The old etiquette rule that the mother or mother-in-law should not host has largely been retired. In practice, whoever is willing to do the work and has the bandwidth is the right host. Co-hosting with 2-3 people splits both the work and the cost.
The host typically covers the cost of food, decorations, and activities. Guests cover their own gift. If the budget is tight, potluck-style showers, backyard venues, and brunch formats keep costs manageable. A beautiful shower does not require a large budget — it requires thought and attention to what the parent-to-be would actually enjoy.
The parent-to-be should not host their own shower. If no one offers, it is perfectly acceptable for the partner or a close family member to organize a casual gathering. A "sprinkle" — a scaled-down shower — is also appropriate for second or subsequent babies.
A theme is optional. Many of the best showers have no theme — just good food and genuine celebration.
Traditional showers excluded partners and male friends. Co-ed showers (often called 'BaByQ' when combined with a BBQ format) include everyone. They tend to feel more natural and less like an obligation. The partner gets to be celebrated too, and the atmosphere shifts from structured games to a relaxed party. If the parent-to-be is open to it, consider going co-ed.
Skip games that embarrass the guest of honor. The best games are ones where everyone participates without pressure.
Brunch is the easiest and most cost-effective format. A simple spread of pastries, a fruit platter, a quiche or egg casserole, and coffee serves a crowd without requiring catering. Afternoon showers work well with appetizers and dessert — skip the full meal if budget is a concern.
Always have a signature mocktail for the parent-to-be. It makes them feel included and special rather than watching everyone else drink. Sparkling water with fruit, a virgin mojito, or a fancy lemonade all work well.
For dietary accommodations, ask the parent-to-be about their current cravings and aversions. Pregnancy can make certain foods unbearable. Check with the guest list for major allergies. Label everything. And have plenty of water — the pregnant guest of honor will need it.
Virtual showers became common during the pandemic and have stuck around for good reason. They work perfectly for guest lists spread across different cities, for parents on bed rest, and as a supplement to an in-person shower for family members who cannot travel.
The key to a good virtual shower is keeping it structured but not too long. Ninety minutes is the maximum before attention drifts. Have a loose schedule: welcome and catch-up, a game or two, gift opening, and a toast. Assign someone to manage the technology so the parent-to-be can focus on enjoying the event.
The small party box mailed to each guest transforms a video call into something that feels special and intentional.
Designate someone to write down each gift and who gave it as presents are opened. In the excitement of the shower, it is easy to lose track, and the parent-to-be will want to write thank-you notes afterward. A simple spreadsheet or even a notes app works. Take a photo of each gift with the card for reference.
Point guests to the registry early and clearly — include the link on the invitation. Most guests appreciate the guidance because they want to buy something useful, not duplicate. Remind guests that group gifting is available for bigger items.
For guests who prefer not to buy from the registry, suggest categories rather than specific items: books, diapers (all sizes, not just newborn), gift cards for meal delivery services, or a contribution to a college fund. These never go to waste.
Thank-you notes are still expected. Aim to send them within 2-3 weeks of the shower. If the baby arrives before you finish thank-you notes, do not stress — people understand. A text of thanks immediately after the shower buys you goodwill while you get the handwritten notes done.
If you are the one registering, our baby registry checklist will help you build a list that is genuinely useful. And for everything you will need when baby actually arrives, the newborn essentials checklist separates the must-haves from the nice-to-haves.
This guide is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider with any questions about your pregnancy.
